


From Bayonne

by periferal



Category: The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
Genre: A Sad Hand Job, Angst, Hemmingwayesque, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periferal/pseuds/periferal
Summary: Bill sees Jake naked.This follows.





	From Bayonne

In Bayonne with Bill there was one bathroom for us to share, and because the door was not locked we would knock to make sure that it was empty. There was one night when Bill did not knock as I was getting out of the bath. I was pulling my towel on when he opened the door. I was surprised. One hand dropped the towel, and it covered less.

Bill got an eyeful of what was not there. He knew about the wound, of course. Soon after, when I was especially sore about the whole mess, and about Brett, I got very drunk and he got very drunk and we talked. But he had never seen it. No one had ever seen it, except for the doctors and the nurses at the hospital, and they did not count. Doctors and nurses did not count when it came to wounds.

“Why didn’t you cut them off, too,” he blurted. He was tight. I wasn’t, I think, because I drank less when I was fishing. Not much less, but enough to make a difference.

“They offered,” I said. I should have pulled the towel back up but something in my brain froze, and all I could think about was Bill looking at the wound. “I though it would make it easier.”

“Has it?”

“No.” 

Bill was staring, still. I had not pulled the towel up. He was drunk.

“I’m tight, you know,” he said, still staring.

“They put a straw in so I could pee while it healed,” I said.

It had hurt very much, all the time. There was only so much they could give me. I had not drunk so much before that, but I drank a lot while it was healing as best it could and it seemed to help. 

“A straw,” Bill repeated. It could have been a question, but his voice was wrong for it.

“Yes.”

“That must have hurt.”

“Very much.” 

“You should pull your towel up,” Bill said after a long silence. His voice was rough.

“Yes.”

“Why isn’t it easier?” He was tight.

“I can still feel it.”

“You mean like a phantom limb?”

The idea was so crazy I almost laughed, which made me almost drop the towel again. 

“Wanting, I mean,” I said. I was a little tight too. It was fine. 

“Did you want Brett?” His voice was still rough.

“Yes.”

He sat on the lid of the toilet. I dropped the towel again, somehow, and his voice was rough when we talked. He closed the door, or I did. I undid his trousers as he pulled off his shirt, very slowly, like how we would watch each other fish on those days when we found spots close to each other. 

I had not seen or touched one since I lost mine. I sat on the lid of the toilet, and he sat on my legs. I had one hand around his waist, fingers splayed on his stomach, to keep him from falling off. The electric light was on. My eyes were open. When he turned his head, I could see his eyes were also open. 

It was quieter than I expected. I had done this before, during the war before I was wounded, and we were always quiet then, but with women before the war it had been louder. Perhaps, for Bill, this was like those times during the war. 

When I was done I had to hold him, so we would not both topple off the toilet. I looked at his face again and realized that there were tears on his face. When I saw his tears, I realized that my eyes were also wet. I did not think about this too much, and instead waited for Bill to come back to himself.

When he did, I let go of him and he stood up.

“Is there anything—” he almost asked. He looked guilty. It was not very funny.

I shook my head. “It’s no use,” I said. I was still naked, I realized. “I need to wash my hands.”

“Yes,” he said. “I will take a bath.”

I washed my hands and afterwards picked the towel up. I went to the room and got dressed in clothes to sleep in. Later, I heard Bill moving about.   



End file.
